


Darling, This Is What Dreams Are Made Of

by WantToGetLost



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Elounor, Ew, M/M, Song Lyrics, i have no idea okay, singer!niall, songwriter!Zayn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-29
Updated: 2014-01-12
Packaged: 2018-01-06 15:45:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1108644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WantToGetLost/pseuds/WantToGetLost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall is a famous singer who falls for Zayn too fast, and Zayn is a songwriter who can't write love songs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Monsters In His Head

**Author's Note:**

> the tittle was taken from _12 Through 15 ___by Mayday Parade.  
>  The lyrics used in this chapter are from my best friend, Kellie (Thanks for letting me use them!)  
> and oh, yeah. this is a 5(6?) part story! Decided to break it down because its easier like that and yeah.

**Part I**

_‘Monsters are in his head instead of under his bed/You’ll push them away until your last breath/They just keep getting closer/They’re pulling you under/The monsters are taking over.’ **\- Monsters In His Head**_

 

_Zayn Malik, popular songwriter, rumoured to be working with famous singer Niall Horan on the singer’s third album. Is it just work or maybe something more is happening between them?_

He read the first line and instantly put the magazine down, not daring to even read the rest of the article. Zayn was really fed up magazines writing shit about him and disrupting his life with dumbass rumours. He sometimes regretted ever going into the music business, because sometimes being able to do what he loves wasn’t enough compared to the rumours and constant late nights of pressure. He really did try, but sometimes there was just this nagging voice on his head telling him all of this wasn’t worth it all, because it just fucked him up more, and it had destroyed so many things he thought were worth fighting for. Like, maybe a relationship.

 

Paps could go fuck themselves.

 

Zayn wasn’t exactly sure we he had agreed to work with the Irish singer, he likes to think because he wanted to switch things up a little bit and because he wanted, but it wasn’t like that. Louis fucking Tomlinson had agreed to the deal, not Zayn. Sometimes Zayn really wanted to fire his manager, unfortunately, Louis wasn’t just his manager, he was Zayn’s best and only friend, and firing him, apparently, wasn’t something a friend does. Whatever.

 

Zayn picked up his pen to continued writing, but his mind was clouded, he couldn’t concentrate. He sighed again, and got up from his seat, leaving his notebook open to the new lyrics he was working on. He walked out of his bedroom and down the hall and to his kitchen. He reckon now was a good time for tea.

After a few minutes, Zayn had a cup of tea in his hand. He sipped it and then furrowed his eyebrows when he heard his doorbell ring. He didn’t invite anyone today. And he would know if it were Louis, because he had a key of his own anyway, he would probably come barreling in, yelling about something that Eleanor did. Louis was like a lovesick puppy with his girlfriend. He took another sip of his tea as he walked to his flat’s front door. He opened the door without bothering to look who it was. He raised his eyebrows as he saw Eleanor herself smiling up at him.

 

“Hello El.” He greeted her, waiting for her to explain why she was in his flat and not with Louis. She smiled wider and nodded, inviting herself in and walking pass Zayn to sit on his couch.

 

“Louis said he would come here because he needs to talk about something with you about Niall Horan, at least that’s what he said. So I’m waiting for him here.” She explained, tilting her head to the side, her brown hair covering half her face.

 

He nodded and asked, “Want tea?” Slightly lifting his cup of tea. He always liked Eleanor, for Louis of course. She made him happy and even though she made Louis soft, Zayn was Louis’ best friend and all he wanted was Lou’s happiness, and if El was, then Zayn liked her. Doesn’t matter if sometimes Louis wanted to yell at Louis face to stop, stop. He didn’t want to see him with her, he didn’t want to hear about her and his relationship, he didn’t want to be reminded that he was a fail when it came to love.

 

But Zayn wasn’t that much of an asshole, so he kept quiet.

 

“Please,” She answered, giving him another smile.

 

He walked back to his kitchen as he yelled back to her, “How long is Louis taking to get here?” He then started preparing another cup. Few minutes later, he came back with another cup of tea. He sat next to her on the couch, handing her the cup.

 

“He just texted me, in 10 minutes or so.” She answered, taking a sip of her tea and showing him Louis’ text. He nodded, biting the inside of his cheek. The last thing he wanted to do on his free time was to talk about the Irish lad. He could do something else, like, maybe sleeping.

 

He shook his head, that doesn’t a good idea. He always had this mind wrenching nightmares that left him shook up and breathless every time he slept, and honestly terrified him. It was almost like… almost like there were monsters in his head and he couldn’t escape them.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

Zayn blinked a few times, looking at her taken aback. No one seems to care these days if he was okay or not. He opened his mouth to lie and say, yeah he was, but stopped because, why should he lie? El was the closest thing he had to a friend other than Louis. He shook his head again, closing his eyes momentarily.

 

She bit her lip, turning around and sitting crossed-legged. “Why so?”

 

He turned to her and was about to tell her everything, about all those voices in his head telling him he was worthless of being with someone else, how he didn’t deserve anything he had, how just wanted _out._ But before he could answer, Louis threw the door open with an, “Eleanor!” He raced to the couch and stopped in front of them before smiling and saying, “Aw, are the most important people in my life bonding?”

 

He had a sarcastic tone to his words, so Zayn said; “Fuck off, you tosser,” as he sipped his tea. He couldn’t believe he was really about to tell Eleanor all that. He was being an idiot.

 

Louis laughed, which seemed to snap El’s eyes off Zayn and smiled up to her boyfriend hesitantly.  “I’ll leave you two alone so you can talk business,” She laughed half-heartedly, her eyes on Zayn. She smiled at Louis and then gave Zayn a reassuring smile before walking down the hall to Zayn’s bedroom probably.

 

“Guess what mate?” Louis asked, sitting down next to him.

 

“What?”

 

“You’re meeting with Niall Horan tomorrow, exactly at 9:45 am tomorrow. He’s coming to your flat, so you better receive him well.”

 

Zayn jumped from his seat and stared down at his best mate. There were so many problems with that sentence the first one being- “I am not waking up later than 12 am just to spend my day with a stuck up popstar,” He shook his head.

 

“Niall is not stuck up! He’s actually a really down to earth and sweet guy, Zayn. I have talked to him multiple times and he was a sweetheart. Really cute too. Adorable, actually.” Louis wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

 

“If it wasn’t for El, I would truly believe you’re gay, Louis.” Zayn muttered, siting back down on the couch. It didn’t matter if he didn’t agree with Louis, he was his manager and half the reason he was where he was and Zayn owned him a lot. He didn’t say anything else and nodded; he would have to wake up early tomorrow for the Irish lad. “What am I doing with him tomorrow again?” He asked, staring up at Louis.

 

“Writing lyrics, of course. What else?”

 

 

Niall rolled around his bed, groaning, trying to cover his eyes from the blinding light coming from his window. He sighed, dropping his arms to the side. He stayed there a few minutes before he shot up, falling of his bed.

 

“Shit, shit, shit.” He kept muttering as he raced around his bedroom for jeans and a simple shirt. He was late, he was _so_ late. He took his phone and pressed home; it was 11:23 and he was sure Zayn Malik was going to hate him and they haven’t even started writing his album. He was fucked, so so fucked. He raced out of his bedroom, tripping down the hall and face planting on the floor. He got up and ran down the stairs of his flat, the elevator was going to take too long. He threw open his door of his car and sped out of his the parking lot.

 

When he got to Zayn’s house, he swallowed hard before walking to the flat’s lobby. There wasn’t anybody around, probably because everyone was working. He pressed the number 6 on the elevator, tapping his feet as he eyed the elevator’s door. When he got to the desired floor, he ran down the hall to apartment 610 as fast as he could. He tried to catch his breath as he knocked on the door, leaning on the wall for support.

 

Zayn opened the door in joggers and a sweatshirt and tea in his hand. His hair was everywhere and he looked like he had just woken up, and like he didn’t sleep well judging by the bags under his eyes. He raised his eyebrows at Niall, before sighing.

 

“I’m so sorry mate, I woke up really late. Ugh, I didn’t mean to come so late. Shit, I’m really sorry,” Niall apologized before Zayn could say anything. He took a deep breath; his heart was racing, but this time not from running.

 

Zayn was one of the most beautiful boys Niall had ever seen. He had perfect cheekbones Niall was already jealous of, he had his right arm decorated with tattoos Niall would never dare to get, and his eyes… they were honey brown and seemed to held so much feelings and sorrows Niall was momentarily overwhelmed. He had perfect eyelashes that touched his cheeks when blinked, softly fluttering them in a perfect motion. Niall was entranced.

 

Until Zayn talked.

 

“Its fine, I just woke up anyway. Though you had came and I was asleep. But I was too sleep to freak out yet.” He gave Niall a reassuring smile. He opened his door all the way, stepping out of the way to let him in. Niall smiled back as he entered the lad’s flat. He turned around as Zayn closed the door of his flat behind him. “Want tea?” Zayn asked.

 

Niall nodded, “That would be wonderful,” He answered.

 

“You can sit there, I’ll be right back with your tea and some paper and pencils.” Zayn announced, almost running back to his kitchen. Niall blinked a few times, not knowing what that meant at all, he shook his head, it probably meant nothing. He relaxed and sat down on the sofa Zayn had pointed to. He looked around the flat, noticing how there weren’t any pictures at all, except for one sitting on the coffee table in front of him. There were three girls really similar to Zayn and then Zayn himself. He gathered they were family, probably sisters.

 

Niall bit his lips, feeling like he had forgotten something really important, but he couldn’t exactly catch what – “Oh my god, my guitar. Shit,” He had left his guitar at his flat, but fortunately, he always had a spare one on his car, which was downstairs. He stood up and attentively walked the same way Zayn walked.

 

He cleared his throat as he saw Zayn was making Niall his cup of tea. Zayn looked surprised. “I – uh, I left my guitar in my car, just going to be gone for a few minutes while I go get it.” He explained, fidgeting with his fingers behind his back, feelings slightly uncomfortable under Zayn’s gaze.

 

He nodded, “Okay, go ahead.”

 

Niall walked out of the kitchen and to the living room, and as he closed the flat’s door behind him, his phone rang. He didn’t bother checking the caller I.D it was probably Liam anyway. He cleared his throat, “Hello,” He greeted

 

“Good morning Niall!”

 

“Morning, Li.” Niall replied tiredly as he pressed the down button on the elevator.

 

“You okay? Things going fine with Zayn right?” Liam asked worriedly, which probably a permanent feeling on Liam who was always making sure everything was alright and that everything was going to the plan, and that Niall was okay and that nobody hurt him because Niall was like Liam’s and Harry’s – who was Liam’s older brother who was actually really nice and supportive of his brother’s best friend – little brother, although he was Liam’s same age. He reckon it has something to do his is not as build or as strong as them, but looks younger them and maybe acts like it. But Niall doesn’t mind, it feels great to be looked after, he feels loved.

 

“He has been great for the time we have known each other, which is probably five minutes,” Niall answered as he walked into the elevator, pressing the lobby button and sighing.

 

“Weren’t you suppose to be there since 9 am, Niall?” Liam asked, swatting Harry’s hands away from his phone. He could wait to talk to Niall.

 

“About that. . .” Niall stepped off the elevator and walked out the lobby, “I may or may have not overslept and arrived 5 minutes ago,”  

 

“Niall James Horan,” He heard Liam’s voice from his phone as he felt the cold November air hit his already cold and red cheeks. He rolled his eyes at Liam’s tone of voice.

 

“Calm down, when I arrived he said he had just woken up too. He didn’t wait for me, he fell asleep too, Liam.” He explained searching for his car keys in his pants pocket. He took them out and unlocked his car.

“Okay. . . What are you doing right now? Stop talking to me and go talk to him! Its rude.”

 

Niall rolled his eyes. “I’m on the parking lot, forgot my guitar in my car so I’m getting it right now.” He opened his trunk and searched on the mess of garbage for his guitar. He took the case and slanged it across his back and closed the car once again and said, “Why didn’t you ever tell me he was gorgeous?”

 

Liam was taken aback by his question before he started laughing, “I don’t know how it escaped me mate, but I reckon is perhaps because I have a girlfriend?”

 

“That guy could turn any straight bloke gay! Have you seen his eyelashes? Or his cheekbones, they are to die for, I want to rip my eyes out, he’s so handsome,” Niall rambled as he made his way up to Zayn’s apartment. He heard Liam full on laughing now and Niall frowned, “Its not funny! I’m not kidding!”

 

“Mate, I think you got it hard.”

 

“What?”

 

“Go write songs Niall, and try not to pounce on the poor guy,”

 

“What’s that suppose to mean?” Niall exclaimed.

 

“It means keep your crush to yourself.”


	2. Falling Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its truly a miracle i didn't take like 3 weeks to write the this chapter. I'm not good with commitment.  
> so the lyrics, i wrote because i couldnt find a song that fit this chapter so.  
> go ahead and read then.

**Part II**

_‘_ _He’s falling apart/He’s a piece of art/That everyone’s forgotten about/ He’s an overplayed song/That everyone’s tired of hearing/He falls to the ground/Heart aching/Hands scraping all the down the walls/He’s falling apart/And there’s no one there to catch him.’ – **Falling Apart**_

****

The sun was setting and the sky was a blend of orange and red and Zayn was falling asleep, no matter how much coffee he drank. Or how many times Niall slapped him. He yawned again, setting the pencil down on the table and ruffling his hair.

 

“I think perhaps we should stop – “ His words died as he saw Niall had already fallen asleep on the floor, his head propped against his beloved guitar. Zayn came to know that Niall with a guitar was his favorite Niall, mostly. He sighed and got up again, and then bended down to take the blonde’s guitar and gently setting in on the couch. He bend down to Niall’s level, one hand under his knees and the other under his head as he propped him up against his chest and walked to his guest room – which had become Niall’s room for the month and a half they been working together. Louis had made sure to point it out to Zayn everytime he came.

 

Louis also didn’t fail to mention how much Niall was growing on Zayn, no matter how much he tried to not let that happen.

 

Zayn set Niall down on the bed and ruffled his hair with a soft expression. Niall moved closer to his touch and Zayn backed away abruptly, his eyes wide open. He swallowed and took a deep breath; he didn’t – in any shape or form – like Niall _like that._ Niall was out of limits.

 

Niall was too much, he was too loud and happy, he was too famous and too talked about, but he also knew when to stop talking and when to laugh, what to do and how to help, but no. Zayn couldn’t and wouldn’t. Because Niall was everything Zayn wasn’t; he was happy and carefree while Zayn was gloomy and scared and plagued by nightmares.

 

Zayn closed his eyes and walked out of the bedroom, aching for some well-needed sleep. He opened his bedroom’s door and dragged himself to bed and put his head on the pillow, closing his eyes. He shivered at the cold and took a blanket to keep himself warm.

 

He drifted away – with thoughts of how Niall’s finger would feel intertwined with his.

 

 

When Zayn woke up, he was sweating and tears were running down his face. He swallowed hard, and buried his face on his pillow and let out a scream that was muffled and started panting because he was _so tired._ He wanted to sleep and never wake up. He longed for actual sleep with nice dreams and not heart wrenching nightmares that made him very scare to close his eyes at all. He let out a cry and sat up and looked at the alarm next to his clock, and put his face on his hand before getting up from his bed. He walked to his door and yanked it open and smacked against something. He fell on the floor, very disoriented. He groaned.

 

“Ugh,” He whined, touching his forehead. He peaked with one eye to find a bewilder Niall sitting on top of him, with eyes wide open and mouth slightly parted. “What the fuck,” He said, letting his head fall back down on the floor.

 

“Uh, I had heard you scream and came to see if you were okay,” Niall explained, his cheeks tainted slight shade of red. He blinked a few times and asked, “Are you okay?”

 

“No,” Zayn’s muttered was muffled by his hand over his mouth before he removed it and said, “I don’t know if you mind mate, but I would appreciate if I could get up,” He mumbled.

 

Niall blushed again and slide down Zayn’s waist to the floor. “Sorry mate,” He said, and stood up. He extended his hand to him and Zayn took it, his eyes fluttering as Niall’s finger brushed against his. He yanked his hand away and Niall blinked and hastily turned around before saying, “I’m going to sleep then, sorry for bothering you.”

 

Zayn swallowed a lump on his throat, feeling a sudden pang on his chest. He wasn’t sure what that meant, maybe he was having a heart attack, or maybe he was just imagining things. Probably that.

 

He sighed and walked to his kitchen to make himself a cup of tea, a cup has always helped him sleep better and calmed him down. As he was preparing it, he thought about how he felt so natural at being with Niall. Spending every waking moment with a person could that, though. Because it seemed Niall was always with him. They needed to finish his songs fast because he had limited time to record them and launch the album, limited time until his break was over and he had to go back on tour, and then it would be really hard to finish them.

He groaned, his head banging. He was tired; he hadn’t had a proper sleep in days, and with Niall always being there with him made it harder to smoke something, which he did to get the tension out of him. Niall had once mention how a mate of his smoked and he always hated it because the smoke made him dizzy and made him cough too much, so Zayn refrained himself from doing so. He’s not quite sure why he would do that, though, he didn’t need Niall’s approval or anything anyway, why was he doing his best to get that though? He groaned again, his thoughts were all jumbled up and asking himself questions he couldn’t answer isn’t something he feels like doing now.

 

Zayn sat on the counter of his kitchen with a cup of tea in hand and sipped it, looking at outside of the window above his sink. The sun was high on the sky now. He sighed, biting his lip, a stupid habit of his.

 

“I guess you couldn’t go back to sleep either, huh?”

 

Zayn turned around abruptly to come face to face with a soft and sleepy Niall. He opened his mouth and was cut off by his realization that he felt quite attracted to Niall right now. He had his cheeks flushed, and his hands behind his back. His eyes were a dark shade of blue right now, and all Zayn wanted was to wrap Niall in a blanket, take him to bed, and watch him sleep while counting all the freckles that adorned his body.

 

He felt his own cheeks flush at his thoughts and slid down the counter until his feet touched the cold floor and cleared his throat. “Yeah, I didn’t really felt like going back to sleep,” He answered as Niall walked to where he was, stopped in front of him and leaned his back against the sink taking a deep breath.

 

“You have nightmares, don’t you?”

 

Zayn staggered a few steps back at Niall’s words, taken aback by them. “ _Excuse me_?” He exclaimed, not quite sure what to do.

 

“You have nightmares. I know so, because when you think I have fallen asleep, _you_ fall asleep and wake up screaming and crying. Mate, if that doesn’t mean you have horrible dreams, I don’t know _what_ does.”

 

He swallowed and nodded, “Yeah, I – I do have nightmares.” He felt like a little weight had been lifted off his shoulders because he has never gotten the guts to tell anyone about his nightmares, because they were horrible and made him feel so guilty. “I’m sorry.”

 

“What are you apologizing for? Its not you’re fault! Don’t even think that.” Niall took a step towards Zayn, a little hesitant. “What are they about?” He whispered.

 

“I – they are about – about this person I used to love,” He muttered, closing his eyes because it has been such a long time since he has talked about it with anyone. “I used to go out with his block, his name was Aiden. He was wonderful, my first love, you would say,” He took a deep breath, because this was so _painful,_ talking about it. “We went out for almost 4 years. We were so happy, my career as a songwriter had just taken off and he was studying to become a doctor, he was in uni. We shared a flat together and one day – one day,” He chocked up his words and closed his eyes again. He suddenly felt a finger on his cheek and opened to find Niall carefully studying him as he wiped the tears that had escaped him with such carefulness and fond.

 

“Its okay, you don’t have to tell me,” Niall whispered, because he wasn’t enjoying seeing Zayn fall apart in front of him, it made his own heart ache. But Zayn shook his head.

 

“I want to,” He answered, his eyes searching Niall’s carefully before he continued. “One day, I came from the studio to tell him I had finally signed a contract with Syco Music, as one of their writers, but when I opened the door to our bedroom, all I saw was him sprawled on the floor. I ran to him, screaming and crying because I wasn’t even – I wasn’t even sure what was happening at that moment. He had killed himself, because his parents weren’t accepting of him, _because he was gay._ He had left me a letter, he had written that he loved me very much and all, but his family’s disapproval was too much and he – he couldn’t take it anymore so he committed suicide by swallowing pills.”

 

Niall’s breath got caught in his throat as he took Zayn’s words in.

 

Zayn took another deep breath and continue, “When I go to sleep, all I see is him, laying on the floor, dead, and I can’t do anything to help him. I failed him.”

 

Niall took Zayn’s wrist. “No, it wasn’t your fault. _He_ was the one who killed himself, not you. You didn’t give him the pills. Dear god Zayn, you cant possibly think it was your fault.” Niall said, looking at him with concerned and he let out a small gasp because this was the reason.

 

This was the reason Zayn didn’t write love songs, and this was the reason he couldn’t sleep at night, this was the reason he was always so distant, this was the reason he could possibly never love anymore.

 

All Niall wanted to do was help.

 

He wanted to make Zayn understand that it wasn’t his fault and not everyone is going to leave him. And maybe, along the way to make Zayn fall for him.

 

Because that moment Niall realized, it wasn’t a small crush anymore. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bet you weren't expecting that, huh


	3. 12 Through 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't help but to use 12 Through 15 by Mayday Parade lyrics again because they are just so fitting for this chapter!   
> Anyway, I am actually impressed i haven't been taking so long to write chapters like i usually do.  
> Lets hope i update fast.

**Part III**

_‘Love is just an empty word you say/I found loyalty and it was pain/And we’re all alone now/With nothing to stand in our way/Don’t swear that it’s over if love is our secret/ I know you won’t keep it/So leave me alone now/I’d rather be lonely when I scream and shout and let it out.’ **– 12 Through 15**_

****

Approximately, Zayn and Niall have spent almost 7 months together since they started writing Niall’s album. They had managed to keep their relationship to mostly business, mostly because Zayn rejected any idea of becoming more than writing partners with Niall, not even friends. And it was fine by Niall, if Zayn preferred them to not be anything more, it was fine by him, it may have hurt his feelings a little but he understood Zayn wasn’t ready to have any friendships other than the ones he currently has, let alone a relationship.

 

Niall seriously felt like he was an idiot for falling for the only person in this world who doesn’t want a relationship because _of course_ Niall had to like Zayn, of course he had to develop feelings because he an idiot, if he was honest with himself.

 

Niall sighed again, and tried to pay attention to what his manager was explaining to him but it was so hard when he kept thinking of how Zayn  had the most perfect eyes he had ever seen, and oh man, lets not talk about cheekbones because just of the mere thought, Niall’s knees weakened. He was so fucking whipped it wasn’t funny, he was acting like a girl with a massive crush on a guy who she knew she couldn’t get; which, now that he thinks about it, is basically his situation. There went any dignity he had then.

 

He snapped out of it when he felt someone almost yell his name.  “Are you even paying attention to any word I have said for the last few minutes, Niall?” His manager, Ben, asked.

 

He flushed in embarrassment and answered, “I’m sorry keep going.” Ben nodded and tried to repeat what he had just said and Niall was trying his best to pay attention to him but he kept thinking about how Zayn. He took a deep breath and put his full attention to his manager and tried to keep Zayn out of his mind.

 

( He wasn’t successful. )

Zayn threw Louis off his bed with an indignant huff, and pulled the covers further up his face to block any light of getting to him. Louis squeaked and stood up, “Okay, that’s it. You’re going to get up right this minute, Zayn Malik, and you’re going to go with me and Niall record his songs, and then you can come back to keep sleeping.” He said firmly.

 

He groaned again, “Why the fuck should I go? I’m just the songwriter, for fuck’s sake, let me sleep.”

 

“Because Niall values your opinion and what songs should make it to the album and which wont, and because you have to sign the copyright contracts of the songs. And because Niall wants you there, so just get up and get ready.”

 

He felt a weird sensation on his stomach and chest, it was like something was trying to claw its way out of his chest and it hurt so bad, and Zayn thought it was guilt at first – because that’s the only thing he feels lately – because guilt feels like there is something trying to escape out of his chest, like there is something trapped on his throat – he begs to differ to anyone who says guilt eats you from the inside because it doesn’t, it tries to escape out of your system – and then realized it wasn’t that at all, it was a sense of fond.

 

It was a sense of fond he felt towards Louis’ words because _Niall wants him to be there._ He closed his eyes and sat up, the sheets falling down his bare chest.

 

“I don’t understand how you can sleep without a shirt off with this cold mate,” Louis commented offhandedly, “Honestly, I think its because – “ His words died on his throat because Zayn had this _look._ Louis knew that look really well, and had a little sense of panic on the back of his throat - as he sat down on Zayn’s bed, every ounce of humour gone from his face. “Zayn, are you really that against of seeing Niall at all? I thought in this past months you would have seen he wasn’t a, in - your words, a ‘pretentious popstar who is too much of a brat,’ I mean, the poor sod has been nothing but fantastic to you, mate, I honestly don’t understand.”

 

Zayn casted his eyes down, “I don’t hate him, I just – “ He stopped and whimpered, “I think I may like him?” He said, sounding more like a question than a statement.

 

All of the sudden, Louis’ loud laugh filled the room as he clutched his stomach trying to breath, and Zayn frowned because what the fuck was funny about this whole situation? He pushed Louis off his bed with a glare and pulled the covers up to his hair and sank down on his bed saying, “Fuck off Louis.” He honestly felt hurt because this was very serious to him.

 

Louis tried to stop laughing and catch his breath and sat in Zayn’s bed again. “Mate, I thought – I thought it was worse than that! You like him? That’s what all this thing is about?” Zayn still didn’t answer from under the covers and Louis let out a small chuckle and moved his legs so he was straddling Zayn under the blanket and pulled the blanket away with all his force since Zayn was quite strong when he wanted to be.

 

“Get off!” Zayn sat up, his nose almost bumping Louis’. He glared at him but Louis still didn’t flinch a little, used to Zayn’s cold stares.

 

“Why are you so scared of liking him?” Louis crossed his arms over his chest.

 

“I don’t exactly want to repeat what happen last time I liked someone.”

 

Louis blinked a few times and quietly sat off his lap, sitting on the edge of the bed, and looking up at his best mate. “Zayn, you cant keep blaming yourself for what happen with Aiden. It wasn’t in any way your fault, and you need to remember that. You cant be holding yourself back because of a fail relationship. Don’t you remember how many fuck up relationship’s I had before Eleanor? So many, I have lost count, and quite frankly, I am glad they happened because otherwise, I probably wouldn’t have met Eleanor, and looking at her and remembering those failed relationships, they don’t hurt as much.”

 

“None of them committed suicide because of you, though.” Zayn muttered.

 

Louis angrily stood up and threw his hands up in frustration. “ _No!_ He didn’t committee suicide because of you! He did it because of his parents’ pressure and everyone elses, and you had nothing to do with it! He still would have been gay whatever or not you were in the picture! Zayn, I really do love you, like a whole fucking lot, you are my only friend and I cant imagine myself without you, _but if I need to yell at you so you can stop being a martyr I will!_ You have Niall right now, who is willing and so gone for you Zayn, he adores you so much and you are going to let him go because you’re fucking _scared!_ That is not the Zayn I know! You would had already gotten in his pants by now, being horribly sickening and shit, trying to outdo Eleanor and me, not being depressed because you did something as human as developing a crush! You need to get it Zayn, it wasn’t your fault and you need to forget it, because its holding you back from finding someone who can make you happy, that someone who I am sure its Niall. So please, do it for yourself, _please_ don’t let Niall go.” Louis took a deep breath before leaving Zayn’s room, leaving him to reflect over his words.

 

Almost 20 minutes later, Zayn appeared fully dressed and groomed with a blank face. Louis looked up at him questionably. “Well? Don’t we have a studio to go to?” He asked Louis, a small smile playing on his lips.

 

Louis smiled back and sighed in relief. “Yeah, we do. Niall just texted me saying he was almost there, we should be able to make it in time.”

 

“You have his number?” Zayn asked, surprised as he took his phone and keys from the table and walked to his flat’s door.

 

His best mate smirked as he said, “If he wants to be with you, he better get through me first. He’s amazing Zayn, don’t let him go.”

 

Zayn blinked and smiled. “I wont.”


End file.
